If Cars Were Regulated Like Guns
I was listening to the radio on the way back from the auto parts store. The politician on the radio told me how he was going to keep me safe. What would that be like? Most adults in the US drive a car, so what would happen if we regulated cars the way we regulate firearms.
I can make an argument for “car control”. Even a small car is more powerful than any firearm. Listen to the traffic reports on your way to work and you’ll hear about “car-violence” every day. Criminals use cars to kill people so we have “car-crime”. I know these are lame argument, but that doesn’t stop politicians. Buckle up and take a crazy ride through car regulation land.
Are you legally eligible to own a car?
- In this world, you need a permit to own a car. The permit includes a national background check, a thumb print and two forms of identification before you’re allowed to buy a car. This is because we want to keep criminal from driving. No one drives without a permit, do they?
- You can’t own a car if you or your wife were ever charged with yelling at each other. That way we won’t let people who were accused of a hostile domestic outburst have access to a dangerous car. It is worthwhile if we save one life.
- In some states you must show that you have a locked garage before you can buy a car. We want to make sure cars are safely kept away from children.
- Car dealers and mechanics are federally licensed and their records are inspected each year.
- Even if you already own several cars, there can still be a 10 day cooling off period before you can bring your new car home from the dealer. This stops dangerous impulse driving.
- Police can come and seize your cars and your gasoline if you or someone living in your home are proscribed certain medicines by a doctor. We can’t be too careful with incapacitated drivers.
What cars can you buy?
- There are limits on the size of the car you’re allowed to own. The car can’t be too small or too large. Who needs a dangerous motorcycle or a truck!
- The gas tank can not hold more than 10 gallons.
- Portable gas cans over 10 gallons are illegal in some states. Only arsonists need that much gasoline!
- Once you get your car home, the gas tank must be drained, the car must be secured in a locked garage, and the gasoline must be stored in a separate building if children are in the home.
- You need a special permit to own a car with a muffler. We need loud cars so you can’t hide your driving.
- Adjustable steering wheels and seats are outlawed in some states but not others. Ignorance of the law is no excuse as you travel. Get advice from your lawyer who specializes in car-law.
- You can’t own a car that looks like a car owned by the government even though your car isn’t as powerful and doesn’t go as fast.
There are limits on gasoline.
- In some states, you need to show your Car Owners Identification Card to buy gasoline.
- You might be reported to state law enforcement agencies of you buy over 20 gallons of gas. Gas kills people!
- It could be illegal to take gasoline from one state to another because the gasoline that is legal in one state might be illegal in your neighboring state.
- You can drive at 16 years of age, but you need to be over 21 years old to buy gasoline for a small car.
There are limits on using your car.
- You need a new car owners permit when you move to some states, and you can’t bring your car into those states until after you register it.
- Some states will let you own a car at home, but you can’t get a permit to take it out in public.
- Some states will let you drive across the state as long as you don’t stop. If you break down, then the police can arrest you if you try to have your car shipped out of state.. unless your car is already registered. This stops illegal car trafficking.
- In some states you can’t show your car to a friend in public. That is called brandishing.
- Some states won’t allow you to have your car outside your home even if you keep it covered. You need a special concealed car permit for that. You probably need to know a politician to get one of these special permits. You’ll have to transport your car in a locked car carrier.
- In some states you can’t let your friend sit in your car on your own property, nor can you sit in his car on your property. That makes me feel safer already.
- Cars can be rented or loaned at the track, but only by car clubs that are part of an incorporated outdoor conservation organization.
I know all this sounds ridiculous, but I saved the best for last. None of these regulations apply to politicians! Politicians can
shoot drive what whatever gun car they want because these gun car laws don’t apply to politicians and their bodyguards drivers.
Enough of crazy land. This humorous comparison makes me wonder how much real freedom we let the government take away from us already. I know the politicians have an explanation of why we need to have our rights taken away. There is always a good excuse for tyranny, and there is always another public health hazard from which we need protection.
Hmm. There is an idea. Why, did you know that 500 people are murdered with bats and blunt objects last year? Bats are more lethal than “assault rifles”. Maybe we need bat registration as part of a comprehensive plan for of bat control and greater bat safety. Does that sound crazy to you?
How about motorcycles?
I wrote a companion article called ” Please Regulate Guns Like Cars”.
Rob, the well regulated
Now it’s your turn to say something.